ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
