How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
