He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
