You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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