I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
