Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's never too late to be topless.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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