Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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