so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
