Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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