sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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