Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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