I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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