the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
