dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
