bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
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