I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i came on her dog
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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