then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
