I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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