Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
