guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
