Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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