Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
