I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
