What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
