remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
40s are totally the cure
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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