just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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