And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
