marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
