Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
