whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
