How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
