I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My feet surprised me
Randomize