We need to rekindle our bromance
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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