it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
