I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Sext me about skeletons
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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