Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
