Where did you get a picture of my penis
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
