people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
