They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
