no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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