I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
