My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Apparently you make a good broom.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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