Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
