I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
