I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
