Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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