I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
