gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
