Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
