Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
