Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
