Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
my liver is dry heaving
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
