she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
