We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
